Woooooooooomeeeeeeeennnnnn be shooooooooooppin'! That's not really what the tone of this blog is going to be, I just like quoting Dave Chappelle as "Reggie". My dear friend Mr. A Elbows wrote a blog the other day concerning how much he enjoyed being male (this can be read here). And boy howdy is he right, but there are different aspects of women that I started to thing about. Mainly, how strange the existence of a hot lady must be, and how different it is than my own.
For starters, being like a fat dude or whatever is probably the opposite of being a hot lady, so I have no idea what that must be like. I can't even imagine what it's like to be leered at by dudes, because I know what goes on in their heads. It's been said a million times, by a million different people, but it's all terrible (the thoughts in a mans head, that is). But every gross dude on the bus, that hasn't showered in four days, is thinking about getting you in the sack. How awkward. I don't think I would like that.
Another negative, is you're a prime candidate to end up in some creeps basement chained to a radiator. That will never fucking happen to me. Ever. Now that I'm a grown man, I'll never be kidnapped. But as a lady, you never know. That guy that's really nice to you at the pharmacy sure has easy access to sleeping pills, and your medical records. Maybe he mixes up your Allegra with a couple of 'ludes. Maybe he follows you home. Maybe you wake up in a warehouse in Stickney tied to a desk chair. This is not a likely scenario, but you never know. All I'm trying to get at is that I won't ever have to worry about this. I'm a large man that is moderately attractive at best, no one has any use for me in that capacity. Also, I don't plan on going to Central/South America or eastern Europe so I can probably rule out getting kidnapped for my organs (joke would be on them though, no one would want my shitty organs).
There's the whole clothing/makeup ordeal as well. This was all stated perfectly by Mr. Elbows in the link I provided above, so I won't really go into much detail. However, I will say that the sheer amount of clothing a hot fashionable babe must have boggles the mind of a guy who wears plain t shirts to every occasion. I once asked a female friend of mine if she and her friends bought new dresses for each night they went out to do something in Vegas. Her answer was yes. I was blown away. I probably shouldn't be putting myself on blast, but I have like 4 shirts. If one were to look at photos of me taken at parties or other occasions where one would dress up, some minor detective work would reveal to you that I wear the same 4 shirts whenever I want to look "nice". That shit won't fly in the female community. All the catty broads in the neighborhood would be shit talking you so hard your ears would explode.
Among the negative things that I have mentioned, there are indeed positives. Mostly, you can generally do whatever the fuck you want, people are nice to you for no reason, and people will listen to what you have to say, no matter how fucking retarded it is. Now, not every attractive woman is a dumb idiot that takes advantage of people, I'm just saying you can.
I've seen pretty ladies get away with shit at bars that I would get tossed out on my head for. Cutting in line, going in the opposite sexes bathroom, yelling at staff members, and all manner of other impolite behaviors. But, because the ownership wants the illusion of attractive people attending their establishment, they are allowed to behave in such a way. If more attractive people are in a place of business, the unwashed masses such as myself are more inclined to give said business their patronage.
There's really not much to the fact that people are nice to attractive individuals, particularly ladies, they just are. Not always, I guess (if you're an ugly jerk you might be mean to someone that's pretty), but most of the time. I guess people (men mostly) think that if they are nice, this attractive lady will let them in their circle and that will lead to untold pleasures. I think sometimes even another women will have this illusion in their head. The pleasures aren't the same as they would be for a man, but maybe this lady will invite you to go clubbing with her gaggle of other hot babes. I don't know, I can only speculate.
As far as people listening to hot ladies, it really all just relates to the other two reasons I just mentioned. For example, the other night at a bar I listened to a girl talk about her job, and dog for like 20 minutes, because she was cute. I'm thinking; "Hey, I'm being attentive, showing interest. This is going somewhere." Well, we finished our conversation and walked inside, where she proceeded to kiss her boyfriend on the mouth. Whatever, he's probably an asshole. Point being, if some random dude started talking to me about the very same subjects, I would have smiled and nodded for as long as it took me to finish my cigarette and walked inside.
I don't know what any of this is supposed to mean. I was just thinking about it. Shut up.
this was my favorite post yet.
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